Jason Lawrence Bell
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01-05-19 Lovely


They called her Lovely though her birth name was Diane Dean. Friends gave her the nick name after hearing her mom call her Lovely at a birthday party. It started as a joke probably out of jealousy, but eventually everyone called her Lovely. And in many ways, she was Lovely. She was the person everyone felt they could trust. She could keep secrets. If there a was problem she was the first to offer help. She had a gentle manner that attracted friendships with both boys and girls. Lovely had one unique characteristic. She was very small in size. She was born premature and was always small for her age. Doctors said she would probably not grow past 4 foot 8 inches. Her parents held her back in school for two years hoping her body might catch up to the other kids. But it didn’t.

In High School Lovely was still smaller than everyone, but her mind was much more mature. The others kids knew Lovely was smarter than them and trusted her opinions. Where the kids rebelled against parental advice, to them Lovely’s advice was gold. And Lovely would help anyone she could. Eventually she knew the deepest secrets of every student in the school. With all this personal information Lovely began to have a deep understanding of young people and their dreams, fears, insecurities and motivations. All the kids struggled and Lovely could identify and understand their struggles. She knew them better than they knew themselves.

One night at a school dance Lovely was standing alone on the balcony above the dance floor. From this position in the room she could see everyone below. She knew each dancer’s intimidate story and she thought about how much she loved them all and wished them happiness in their lives. She began to tear up. As the tears formed, they affected her vision. As more tears formed her vision changed radically. She stepped back and leaned against the wall for support. Something amazing was happening. With a new clarity her eyes saw the room and her friends in a much different dynamic.

She could see every person’s aura surrounding them. In vibrant colors that she did not recall ever seeing before. Each person was shining in magnificent beautiful rainbows. Each aura was much different from the others. Like personal rainbows. She seemed to have an innate understanding of the colors and their meanings. Since she knew the kids so well as people, her understanding of their auras was immediate. She sat back and spent the evening enjoying the amazing light show of auras dancing on the floor.

After the dance many of the students’ parents came to pick them up and Lovely was shocked at the auras of the parents. Compared to the kids’ auras that were vibrant with many colors and shades, the parent’s auras were darker in shade, less colorful and looked thick and heavy. The parent’s auras were still pretty but stagnant and less vibrant. This made Lovely sad to think how human life changes the beautiful auras. And as her eyes began to tear up with tears of sadness Lovely’s vision changed again. This time everything, she saw was in black and white and grey. She still saw auras but now they were in shades of grey. And the auras were more telling especially in the parents. She somehow could see their life struggles, and their bruises and scares and hopes and dreams. From the grey Lovely faintly heard the words “they are all doing their best”.

A deep realization occurred to Lovely about life and humans. Humans did not create this world they were thrown in. They were born and forced to survive with little help. Some were born with love surrounding them, some were born to damaged lives not of their making. Still they all strive for happiness. Love and happiness were their goals. They struggled through damaged lives with good intentions, “doing their best”. When the damage was extreme, their fight for love and happiness was confused and misdirected. These were the abused who became abusers. It may be hard to see, but they were also ‘doing their best’. Lovely thought of those with mental illness and biological damage that were the hardest to accept, for their crimes can be horrendous and heartbreaking. These were the mass killers or sociopaths those minds did not think correctly. They were dangerous and we must protect ourselves from them. They did not create their defects and through their defects they were still ‘doing their best’.

Lovely felt a deep sympathy and respect for humans and their forced struggles through their lives. She found herself walking deep in thought down the school corridors. As she passed a glass door she turned and saw her full reflection. At first, she saw her short body and stared into her eyes. She began to cry and her aura appeared and danced around her and she laughed with joy. Then the aura changed to shades of gray and she saw how she struggled to find her own happiness and love. She wept uncontrollably. And after she cried her last tear, she again looked at her reflection and this time she opened her arms and she deeply accepted her life in all its entirety. Her body, her mind, her auras with colors and grays, her world, her struggles, everything that surrounds her. She knew this was her unique life and she would ‘do her best’. Peace.***