Jason Lawrence Bell
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07-18-20 Gay Dilemma


‘Bring me the calendar. We need to follow this back and retrace her steps’, directed Scott. A small group of concerned friends have gathered together. Their mutual friend, Megan, had been missing for two weeks and the police have exhausted all leads. The investigators admitted that unless a substantial clue appears, the odds of locating Megan were becoming low. Scott and the group were desperate. They didn’t have any more information than the police, but they did have an advantage. They knew Megan very well, and believed they could predict what Megan would and wouldn’t do. They were certain Megan was not suicidal or prone to run away. If fact, Megan was the sensible level-headed member of the group. She was the best friend type. Always loyal and ready to help. But now when she obviously needed help, they cannot find a way to reach her and give her what she must need. They cannot accept the police theory that Megan left to start a new life. Because there were no signs of abduction and most of her belongings were still in her apartment, she must have left willingly and should return. The only clue was on Scott’s bathroom mirror.

Scott lived in the next-door apartment to Megan. They each had keys to each other’s apartments. They had a habit of writing important things to remember on each other’s bathroom mirrors with soap bars. Like Scott wrote ‘remember 7:00 dinner with family’ or ‘don’t worry. You’ll get the job’. On the day Megan disappeared there was a message on his mirror. It simply said, ‘going back to the future.’

Scott was Megan’s oldest friend from childhood. They were inseparable in school. They even ‘came out’ together. In their freshman year in college, they both acknowledged that they were gay. All of their friends privately thought that they would become lovers. But once they exposed their sexuality, everyone knew why they would not. In fact, all of the members of the small group were gay. They were a kind of family together. Like brothers and sisters. They called themselves the ‘gay crusaders’. No straights allowed. For gay eyes only, they would laughingly acknowledge. They supported each other and were always near and available.

With Megan gone the group felt un-whole. A leg on their table was missing. Where was Megan? At first Scott wasn’t so concerned about Megan, because of the mirror message. But as time passed and no communications, he joined his friends with worry. They checked all social media and any notes they found in Megan’s apartment. They did find a name on Megan’s Facebook page, that no one knew. Dean. Who was Dean? They searched and found Dean’s Facebook page.

Recently, Dean’s page had become inactive, and nothing was posted for at least a month. But the last post was startling. It was simply a screen shot of a movie poster. The old movie ‘Back to the Future’. ‘What the hell is going on?’ Demanded Scott. The group was baffled. Then they started to compare Megan’s Facebook post and Deans. They marked down the dates of the posts on both sites. Scott demands, ‘get me the Calendar. We need to follow this backwards.’ It became obvious that Megan and Dean we’re communicating, but why did Megan keep it a secret. They needed to talk to Dean.

So, every one of them sent Dean a friend’s request and waited. Two days later, Scott got a message from Dean’s Facebook. It said ‘Megan is very sorry. She will connect soon.’ The group did not know what to think. Is Dean holding Megan hostage somewhere? Was Dean stalling for time while he hid Megan’s body? Was Dean dangerous? The next day they all receive a message from Dean’s Facebook, ‘meet me at my apartment tomorrow at 6:00. I am so sorry Megan.’

As they all arrived at the apartment, Megan was already there waiting alone. The group started peppering Megan with lists of questions. She stopped them and asked everyone to sit down and she would explain. ‘First, may I say, I’m so sorry for the worry I have caused you. I didn’t plan for it to go on this long. I am so sorry. And I love you all so much. But something has been happening to me that I needed to understand and deal with. I met a man that I surprisingly found very attractive. I didn’t see it coming but it was too intense to ignore. So, I secretly met with the man, Dean. Shortly I found I was extremely sexually and emotionally driven towards him. I have never felt anything like it. I was not certain that it would last. Maybe it was a just a passing fancy that would dissolve in time. That’s why it took longer than I expected. But it was only getting stronger. And now I’m pregnant. I love the thought of having his baby. We are going to be married soon. But I worry about all of you. I love you so much. I feel like I’m betrayed you. I can’t be a ‘gay crusader’ any longer. You know, ‘for gay eyes only’. I can understand if you hate me and refuse to see me, because I’ve step out of the circle. But I love a Dean.’ Megan started sobbing.

The group just sat stunned in the living room. Then Scott, slowly spoke, ‘Megan you didn’t step out of the circle, because we just expanded it and you’re still in it. Fuck ‘for gay eyes only’. That was a tired old saying from an outdated time. I think I speak for everyone.’ The group nodded in approval. ‘This group needs to evolve. We desperately need to add a straight couple with a pregnant mommy to our group. Megan do you know anyone who would fit that order?’

Megan wiped her eyes. With a huge smile Megan opened the bedroom door and out stepped Dean. Megan answered, ‘Yes, I am certain I know a couple who would love to be in this group.’ Scott jumped up and with the group started singing, ‘were going have a baby, a baby, a baby.’ Peace***