Jason Lawrence Bell
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08-07-19 Randomist


‘Windows to the world hidden by darkness’ was the line Harry choose as his favorite from the old book he found at the used book store. Harry found the book with his usual and unique technique of selection. Harry called himself a ‘Randomist’. He liked making most of his decisions and choices in Random fashion. Like the book, he chose it by walking through the book store and selecting the first book that attracted him. He felt that Random selection allowed himself to be led to choices that expanded him and lessons that he wouldn’t experience normally. Harry loved the mystery of the discovery and the surprise of unexpected treasures. He felt he was being led by his intuition or inner wisdoms.

But there was another side of Harry. His occupation was a CPA accountant. He worked with numbers and hard facts. His work was very structured and calculated. At work he was neat and tidy, but after work his world was eclectic. Harry felt that being an after-work Randomist kept him balanced and free. His house was a great example of Harry. He purchased the house by he using the skills of numbers. A house with great resale value in a neighbor with good schools and a low interest home loan. But he decorated the house randomly. There were many interesting pieces of furniture that seemed to have fascinating histories with distinguished designs and colors. But nothing matched. There was a modern pole lamp next to French Provincial couch, which was next to a shabby sheik seating chair. Friends either loved it or hated it. But it was pure Harry.

Harry was still single and he wanted to change that. He wanted love and marriage and he liked the idea of filling the extra bedrooms with kids. So, Harry joined a dating service. One evening Harry was at home alone with his computer checking out the profiles of women on the dating site.

He was trying to make a choice when the voices began. In his left ear he heard, ‘Random is the only way to find true love, soul mates will always find each other and Random is the conduit.’ Then the right ear blurred out, ‘you need accurate information to make a successful choice, not Random luck. Learn her likes, and dislikes. Is she a happy person, a dependable person? Look at her family, especially the mom. You need clear accurate information to make a successful choice.’ ‘Bullshit’ continued the left ear, ‘calculated boredom, a robot with good statistics. Random would bring you a personality with heart.’ Then the right shouted, ‘Random would bring you a drug dealer with bi-polar tendencies. Know her facts before choosing.’

Harry was stunned. He was sitting there stuck listening to his voices arguing over a website. He had always been able to compartmentalize his two opposites but now faced with an important decision of a love relationship, they both wanted influence. Harry had an idea. ‘Okay, Okay, I need both of you to shut up. This is the plan. We will go thru each profile and at the end after reviewing them all, each of you will give the number of your choice. You see, each profile has a code number. At the end give the code number of your choice and I will go on two dates and let’s see who chooses best.’ The voices agreed. Both acted cocky like only they knew best. After reviewing all the profiles on the dating site, both gave their choices.

The left ear said ‘M57 is the winner’. The right ear hesitated. ‘I don’t know how this happened, but I choose M57 too.’ Harry didn’t expect that outcome, but immediately filed thru the profiles to find M57. Harry sat back and felt confused. He knew this lady. Helen from the Audits department at the firm that he worked. He didn’t know her well, they just passed in the halls. She always wore those executive pant suits that made her look very corporate. There was something a little sexy about her, but they seldom talked.

Office romances were frowned upon at corporate, but Harry’s curiosity overruled that obstacle. So, the next day he approached Helen on the break. He felt confident until he started talking, ‘hi Helen, I don’t think we’ve met. Ah heh, I Harry and..’ Helen interrupted, ‘you must have read my profile. Right? I read yours. What does Randomist mean?’ Helen was way ahead of Harry and he regrouped and answered, ‘I like to make choices randomly. Kind of gut feeling choices. I think it balances me within this precision occupation. I don’t know why but it just works for me.’ Helen looked at Harry. ‘Interesting.’ Then came an uncomfortable pause that forced Helen to speak, ‘so what’s next?’ Harry quickly responded, ‘how about dinner. I love to cook. Let me make us a meal.’ Helen smiled, ‘okay, text me your address. I’ll meet you there.’ The break was over and they were back to work.

Then came the dinner date. Harry had everything prepared and could hear someone entering his drive way. Harry opened the front door and couldn’t believe his eyes. A Harley Davidson motorcycle was standing in the driveway and Helen was taking off her helmet. Harry watched in fascination. As she walked up the driveway, Harry could see she was wearing a light sleeveless summer dress. As she got closer, he could see them. Tattoos completely covering her arms and a few on her legs. Helen was smiling sheepishly. She knew she was blowing Harry’s mind. And she was.

Harry was goo-goo-eyed with the sight of Helen. ‘Who are you? You are like four dimensional or something.’ Helen responded, ‘I might be complicated, but never boring.’ Harry was sold. Then Helen entered the house and scanned the living room. She stood there and asked, ‘so this is what Random is about.’ Harry nervously said, ‘well yes, but it is much more than furniture choices. It’s kind of a way of life.’ Helen replied, ‘I like it, I like it a lot. Tell me more.’ By the end of the evening Helen was sold too, and both sides of Harry’s voice were pleasantly silent in agreement. Peace***