Jason Lawrence Bell
Stories
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10-06-19

10-06-19                AUDIO AVAILABLE SOON

‘Don’t confuse the words with the actions.’ Was the first line of Frank’s new novel. He didn’t have a clue where it would lead, yet it was enough to start his pen flying with inspiration. Frank had learned to trust the stream-of-consciousness approach to pushing his written works forward. He envisioned an intellectual source fluidly passing words, phrases and concepts to his consciousness and he would receive it like dictation. He was more an editor and revised the text to perfection.

Most often he is satisfied with the completed product but today was different. Lines started appearing that disturbed him. ‘Words are fantasy, where actions are reality. Like hitting someone in the face with your fist is pure reality. There is passion, decisive action, performance with purpose, and a statement is made. This is honest and unambiguous. When we start to investigate motive and meaning we enter the realm of interpretation and the risks of deception.’

Frank was confused but he kept writing. ‘Deep in society’s unspoken book of proper behavior, we try to live a life with protections and avoidance of assaults. When we suffer damages, we are shocked that our rituals of humbling faith are ineffective and generally worthless. But to look seriously at our reality and see that damages are suffered daily by many and protections are limited at best, is too much for the living to accept. So, we allow ourselves to believe fantasies and create elaborate belief systems to pacify ourselves. Humans are fearful beings that subconsciously acknowledge their frailty and vulnerability to many forms of danger.’

Frank was becoming agitated. His writing has never taken such a turn. Before it was stories and dialog that entertained. This was more like a lecture on life. Very dry without poetic shine or character. And what character would talk like this. But he instinctively continued writing.

‘Damage creates urgency and pulls us out of comfort zones. We sooth ourselves with deception. Daily we lie to ourselves about potentials and when damaged we go deeper into beliefs of deception. One could conclude that without human’s ability to deceive themselves they would freeze from fear and quickly become extinct. So, humans lie to live. And it works. We make it thru another day. We find comfort and love and are productive and feel some satisfaction with ourselves. Our fantasies of deception reap huge rewards. Those rewards keep us sedated and addicted to lies. And more important it creates a new vulnerability. Human can be on the brink of extinction and refuse to acknowledge the circumstances, thus hastening the end.’

Frank is becoming upset. Why is he being told this? What do they want from him? Not having a clue who ‘they’ were. But the writing continued. ‘Fantastical defenses are like a thick curtain that blocks our view of reality. Could humans’ risk lifting the curtain and saving themselves? Or is truth too uncomfortable to face? It would be no less than an evolutionary leap to allow human consciousness to thrive in reality. To give up the perks of deception and stand on the solid ground of truth. If human consciousness actual did rise to accept only truth, what would be different? What would human existence be like? How would daily life change?’ With those last words Franks writing abruptly stopped.

Frank sat there waiting for more but that was it. This had never happened before and he felt lost. The last lines were questions. Was Frank expected to answer those questions? Then it occurred to Frank that he was being challenged to write only truth. So, Frank tried to imagine a life of just truth.

At first it seemed refreshing. Honesty and trust ruling the day. Everyone seeing the exact same reality and understand and accepting the same facts. Everyone with the same opinions, thus acting the same. Would this be a loss of individuality? Would there be only Non-fiction in the libraries. What about religion? Would creativity be for only practical functions? Frank was unsure if art or comedy would exist. It seemed like a dry practical life. No need for soothing distractions because acceptance would relieve all fears.

Frank realized his addiction to fantasy. The books he wrote to distract his readers from their stressful lives were his passion. He deeply felt the overwhelming desire for self-soothing. He couldn’t imagine life without alcohol, meditation, comedy and elaborate fantasies that relieve tensions. He made the hard conclusion that tensions and fears were catalyst for great art, entertainment and passions. He felt weak and incapable of accepting truth as a foundation. Frank took his computer with all this writing on truth and erased all the content. Frank had simply could not live a life of truth. The perks of deception were too sweet to lose. Human vulnerability will remain until the end. Peace.