12-09-19 AUDIO AVAILABLE SOON
‘Sharp edges, just soften your sharp edges,’ said Sally to her close friend Donna. Donna looked confused, ‘what sharp edges.’ Sally reluctantly continued. ‘You know how you complain that people seem to want to avoid you. Like last week when no one would RSPV to your holiday party.’ Donna nodded. ‘Well, I know most of them think you are ‘Edgy’. Your personality is unpredictable and often mean and rude.’ Sally knew this conversation would come eventually but she wanted to postpone it as long as possible. But now there is no way out.
‘You are quick to anger. And when you’re around, they are uncomfortably waiting for you to explode. Donna I know you. You are a good person. But there is a side of you that repulses people.’ Did she just say repulse? Sally could not believe her own directness. But she also has had her own deep frustrations with Donna. For some reason Sally has kept the friendship. Sally continued, ‘you can be insulting like the time you told Molly that her new tan made her look dirty.’ ‘Well it did. Everyone could see it. I was the only one brave enough to say the truth,’ shot back Donna. ‘That’s a great example. You hurt the feelings of Molly and you consider it bravery and truthfulness. You use your honesty like a sword. The ease in which you hurt your friends is scary. You think you’re clever saying things that others won’t, but it’s hurtful. You have an eye for the hurtful. You seem to look for the insult. You are always looking for the insult.’
Sally was shocked by her own words, but Donna needs to know. ‘Honestly Donna, most of the people you call friends don’t even like you. You haven’t had a love relationship in ten years and you never will unless you change.’ ‘Now whose using their honesty to insult,’ answered Donna. But she looked dejected and ready to cry. Sally collected herself and took a moment for composure. She felt relief having finely released her built up frustrations toward Donna. She knew she had to make it constructive. She took a long breath.
‘I know so much about you, and I am certain you are a product of that horrendous childhood and those abusive parents. With that verbally and physically abusive father and that vacant mother who allowed it, you didn’t stand a chance. I have often thought of you as having PTSD. You are living with Post Traumatic Distress most of your life.’ Now Donna was sobbing uncontrollably.
Sally had hit a nerve and the flood gates opened. Donna fell to the floor and assumed a fetal position and wailed like a baby. Sally moved next to Donna and held her head in her lap. Donna cried for nearly an hour. She eventually laid in Sally’s lap exhausted.
Thru her puffy eyes she looked up a Sally and asked, ‘why have you stayed? The others left me. Why have you stayed?’ ‘I don’t know, I’m not sure,’ answered Sally. Donna continued, ‘I know you too. You had mother issues. Your mother fought alcoholism until she died from it. You tried but you could not save her.’ That’s all Donna had to say. Sally started crying softly. Then she saw her mother’s face on the figure in her lap. She began sobbing loudly while stroking the face. Sally had to lay down and moved beside Donna. Donna wrapped her arms around Sally and they both cried together.
After a long while they both pull themselves on the couch feeling exhausted and emotionally stripped to the bone. In a faint soft voice Donna looked at Sally and said, ‘thank you, that must have been hard for you.’ Sally was deep in thought and responded. ‘I had a thought. Most people are attracted to each other by their positive attributes. Do you think it’s possible that we are attracted to each other because of our wounds?’ ‘But why would that be an attraction? Sick people liking to hang out with each other? It doesn’t make sense,’ offered Donna. Sally turned to Donna and said, ‘it does make sense if we are together to heal each other. It’s an amazing idea, and I believe it’s true. Now that we are aware of who we are to each other, we can support and guide each other thru our healing.’ Donna began tearing up again and Sally felt her own tears on her cheek. The women took each other’s hand and silently created a new lasting bond. Peace